Nothing is as it Appears

Grace Clayton is dead. You remember, FASTFILLY@iol-mail.com ? Apparently she was murdered the end of January. The police have found the e-mails she wrote to my husband. They’ve also found the e-mails he’d written to her. No need to confront him on this secret life now. It’s all about to become public. I guess the internet isn’t quite so anonymous. And probably this blog isn’t either. Rest assured for those who may be watching/reading/pondering, I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH FAST FILLY DISAPPEARING. But I’m not broken up about it. Betrayal is betrayal.

Its funny, I got an email from someone who’s been following my blog… someone named TruBlue. He writes: “Nothing is as it appears. Shadows morph into each other. Maybe that’s what keeps the love alive. You think you found my truth? Oh baby, I just figured out yours. Remember, actionshaveconsequences, and it’s not a secret if someone else knows.”

I guess there’s no such thing as a perfect stranger.

Mutual Understanding

Josie and I had a long overdue dinner the other night. I confronted her about my husband’s extra-curricular activities. I reminded her that I CREATED the job she holds, and unless she helps me keep him in line, I could make that job disappear.

Very quickly Josie and I came to a mutual understanding. She wants to keep her job, and I want to keep my husband. Sometimes the only currency that’s worth anything are the secrets we keep. I told her flat out, I want to know where Veronica lives, and if she calls or has been trying to see my husband. Josie promised to monitor the situation, and further offered that my husband’s affinity for temps is alive and well. She showed me a picture of one of them, and it turns out that that is the woman my husband picked up outside her apartment a few weeks ago.

Her name, according to Josie, is Katherine. And I get the feeling that Josie wanted her for herself. I’m quite certain now that I will have to confront my husband about this philandering. If I could catch him out with one of these women... Accidentally bump into him, then he’d never need to know about the spying online. I may have to do that soon, as this behavior MUST END.

Counsel

I'm not sure of anything. It's hard to trust anymore. My paranoia is escalating. I don't know how to stop it. Who is this man that I'm married to? As I watched him get into his car with this other woman, I called his secretary, Esmerelda, and she lied for him--said he was in a meeting. I thought Esmerelda was my friend... and I thought my husband was faithful. (Or at least trying to be.) Perhaps the joke's on me.

If you are reading this I would so appreciate some counsel. You can e-mail me as well or leave a comment. It's time to keep my husband in line.

Why Wont These Women Leave Him Alone?

Why won’t these women leave him alone?!?!

Her real name is Veronica - she used to be a temp at my husband’s office - but her IM name is apparently ROCKETGIRL. The slut. Check out the IM conversation that I happen to come upon. I need to stop this before it starts again.

ROCKETGIRL: Dear Harrison, the answers are: great sex, cheap beer, and the Rolling Stones.
ADEX: Provocative questions. Remind me of the question
ROCKETGIRL: It’s a riddle
ADEX: What’s your name?
ROCKETGIRL: Veronica
ADEX: Are you blonde?
ROCKETGIRL: dirty
ADEX: I like dirty
ROCKETGIRL : filthy
ADEX: I’d like to get a fistful
ADEX: Are you turned on?

Excellent Insurance Policy

My husband's company hosted a rather extravagent gala last night for one of his top clients. Being the duitful wife, I felt compelled to attend. Bethany, the account manager for the lingerie client was at the party. I suppose she had to be, but she was making quite the scene. Drinking. Laughing. Drawing attention to herself. I’m happy in a way that my husband could see her for the sloppy drunk that she is.

You might wonder why I stay with a man that entertains infidelity. I’m a realist. Any man in his position entertains those thoughts. I know he has a tendency to roam. He was roaming, after all, when he met me. It’s a war out there, and I’m merely protecting my territory. That’s why I have people close to my husband who are my eyes and ears when I can’t be there.

Josie, for example, my husband’s right hand girl, was someone I found and placed in his employ. You might say that she’s indebted to me. I helped her get on her feet, and I know her deep dark secret. If she ever let me down, I might have to let others know as well. She’s what I call an excellent insurance policy.

FastFilly is a Husband Stalker

Fast Filly refuses to leave my husband alone. From his e-mails you can tell he’s just playing. Certainly not serious. Yet she believes that this…thing, this brief interlude, will lead to more. When I take on his identity I can’t seem to convince her that it’s meaningless; that she’s meaningless. She’s like gum on the shoe. And if need be, I will scrape her off.

Does Having Sex Online Make it Less of a Betrayal?

Hello Fellow Travelers. I’ve gotten some interesting e-mails from you. I know I’m not the most popular girl on the blog, amongst men, at least. But I’m not looking for approval. I’m looking for vindication. So many of you are angry that I’ve gone on my husband’s online account. Yet I’ve clearly had just cause. He’s been unfaithful. Using the Internet to betray our commitment. Does having sex online make it less of a betrayal?

Pandora’s Box

Thank you so much TruBlue@iol-mail.com. That keystroke recorder was like opening Pandora’s box. The woman that my husband is having an affair with is named FastFilly (her email is fastfilly@iol-mail.com in case you want to drop her a note ;)). She’s trash - he won’t remember her next year, much less next week. More worrisome was a rather intimate e-mail exchange with one of his account managers, Bethany. That one I have to nip in the bud so,

Now thanks to TruBlue, I go online as ADEX all of the time. When he’s sleeping, showering, working out I troll the Internet to see who his name attracts. Last night I went online as my husband and sought out this FastFilly. We had sex. It was odd being my husband and having sex with another woman. Afterwards, I told her I felt guilty. That I didn’t want to do this anymore. I was very much in love with my wife. If that doesn’t chase her away, then she’s psychotic.

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From:TruBlue@iol-mail.com
Sent: Saturday, October 27, 2006 8:19 PM
To: need2no@iol-mail.com
Subject:Glad 2 be of assistance

Glad 2 be of assistance. I try to lend a hand to those who aren’t as familiar with the web. It’s remarkable how people feel that it’s safe to say anything online, be anyone. I think, they think, that their words aren’t accountable, that they disappear like trash on trash day. But the words, like trash have to go somewhere. You can melt them, squash them, bury them under concrete, but they still EXIST. One just needs to know where to look…

Need 2 No

I’m rather new to the online world. But my husband seems to be making lots of friends this way. I thought I might try too. The strength of the Internet may also turn out to be its weakness. You never really do know who you’re talking to. And you also never really know who’s listening.

The other day, for example; my husband had left his computer on. I didn’t realize it. I was sitting at the desk, when suddenly a message appeared on the screen from someone named…FASTFILLY. And she had some pretty interesting things to say to ADEX, my husband’s oh so obvious handle. (he’s an Advertising Executive). It was a golden opportunity. I mean, how often can one pose as one’s husband?

She told him (me) everything she thought of me and why I was the wrong woman for him. If I can get on his account, I may e-mail her again. How does one get on accounts without passwords? Any idea? Please e-mail me ASAP. NEED2NO@iol-mail.com. Willing to pay for quick fix!